Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Bed Side Manners

Sometimes I think I have terrible "Bed Side" manners. I don't mean to be rude, but I'm just sort of "get to the point" type of "business person". My husband has great bed side manners and seems to take forever to get to the point, but by the time he does (no matter if you agree with him or not) you just can't get mad at him! Really! Try being married to him. Yes, he is a charmer.

Sometimes I feel like I am being manipulated when someone tries to "butter me up" before delivering not-so-great news. Usually it's because I don't anger easily and I'm not going to get mad at the messenger. I feel like I am being dragged on... just spill it, and lets move on with our lives! So I try not to do that to others. So I just tell it like it is (I'm talking "business", "get-it-done" type of conversations, not every-day, casual conversation).

I had a little incident this morning when a landlord called to follow up on a visit we had regarding their property that we had considered renting. The landlords expressed that they would like us to rent, but we had to take some time to think about it. After DH and I discussed it, we decided not to rent there. Anyway, the Landlord called me, and wondered if we had made a decision, and I quickly told him we had, and that we would be staying where we are for a while. I could "feel" his demeanor change and the conversation abruptly ended. And then I felt a twinge of guilt - did I say something?  I guess I could have stayed on the phone and told them what great people they seemed and how we would love to have them as landlords... but we just chose another path...?!?! See what I mean. I suck at this. It just feels silly.

Maybe it's just my personality or the way I was raised...

What are your thoughts?


Emmy said...

I think there are times were it is good to say the positive and good things especially if you are about to break some bad news; but in this landlord situation, no there is no reason. They were obviously disappointed but nothing you did was offensive in any way.

Jensen Ohana said...

Oh I definitely can relate. I don't like when people candy coat or go the long route to tell me something so I don't do it either, but yes, sometimes I kick myself for not going the long route. I'm working on it too but sometimes I feel that people are too sensitive and we can't help their reactions. If there's one thing I've learned in trying to 'grow up' is that people are entitled to feel/react how they choose, but so are you! :D