Thursday, July 16, 2009

If you CANNOT handle poop. Don't have kids.

Because you will undoubtedly have to deal with it - no exceptions. And I'm not gonna lie, it's gross. I have been tried and tested and know that I can, indeed, deal with the my children's feces. Today was one of those days. Quick(not too graphic, but gross) story:

While Turtle and Monkey Man eat breakfast, I read my scriptures. It's the only time, first thing in the morning, that I have any quiet. Turtle sits in his booster seat, so I usually leave him in there as long as he's happy. Monkey can just get down himself when he's completely finished. While I was reading, DH came down stairs and we chatted for a bit. My back is facing the dining table, when DH asks me "what's all over [Turtle]?".

"Food." I assume. As I glance back, I say out loud... "What the...? I didn't give him anything brown..." As I take steps closer my heart starts racing as I imagine the worst...

It. Is. The. Worst.


I didn't even want to touch him! DH was chuckling at this point and I look at him with pleading eyes, "Don't make me deal with this!" I'm thinking.

"What do you want me to do?!" He asks.

"I dunno. ANYTHING!" But I can't think of any other request than do it all!"

He's had a long night, I know. And I really can't imagine him handling this better than me (call it what you will, but, ultimately, I don't mind dealing with my children). I buck up, unbuckle the human disgustoid, and put him, shirt, diaper and all- right into the tub.

And I deal with it.

Good morning - TO ME!


Carolyn said...

I've lost count the number of times I have had to do some variation of that.

What a way to start your day.

Sarah said...

LOL -- sooo very true!!! I have five of my own and have taught preschoolers for 25 years..lots of poop - lol. It is easier if they are your kiddos - other people's kiddos - not so much. Hang in there, Sarah

Jody said...

I can laugh only because I have been there! Not kidding- as I read this my daughter comes over to sit with me at the computer. I noticed she was stinky and that her diaper also had leaked onto my new white shorts! Thanks for spreading the poop love! ;)

Anonymous said...

Emmy said...

Oh nasty! I am so sorry. But you are right, poop is an inevitable part of being a mom :)
Hope the rest of your day was better

The Smiths said...

what fun!! nothing like kids to keep you hoppin'

My son has done that to me before..and my daughter as well.

Me..I would have just taken them outside, hosed them off and then thrown their clothes away..I'm not good with poop either...