Friday, April 3, 2009

Dear Taco Bell

Dear Taco Bell,

We've been pretty tight, you and I.  I have been one of your most loyal customers and have defended your integrity time and time again. Your Cheesy Gordita Crunch is a world of yumminess and I craved you when I was pregnant.

Even though my Husband doesn't always agree with you, and sometimes you make him sick... he understands our depth and deals with it to make me happy (yes, he is pretty much the best). Instead of buying my flowers as a kind gesture, we would bring me a #6 Combo Meal - One Beef Supreme, one Chicken Baja. We had a good thing going on.

But last night, you crossed the line. My husband can handle you when you upset his stomach... but my Monkey! Not my Monkey! After eating some cheesy fiesta potatoes and your new Nacho product... he was throwing up all night. In fact, he is still unable to keep anything down. Watching my baby in pain breaks my heart, You, Taco Bell, have broken my heart. We can no longer be friends. I'm sorry. I may visit you occasionally, but I can no longer allow our relationship to inflict pain on those I love. No more family nights at Taco Bell because I will not risk you hurting my babies.

Maybe it wasn't entirely your fault. The Taco Bell I fell in love with on Kauai is clearly not the same Taco Bell here on "the mainland". I have had more bad experiences with you here than I ever imagined possible. And I know I'm not the only one. I hear stories of your broken relationships all over. It makes me sad to see you stoop to this level. But that is your choice. I can only control what I do - and, well... this is where we stand.

It's over. Don't call me or text me anymore.



Missy Mauch said...

Poor Makoa! I'm so sorry! BUT, maybe it's just a bug, AFTERALL the cold/flu IS going around, you know! Maybe you can still have your forbidden relationship;)

HeaddaMarie said...

Awww....poor little man. I haven't eaten at taco bell in forever!! I personally prefer me some Del Taco. And might be a bug. Izzy has a high temp today and has been coughing & her nose has been running like crazy and not so clear anymore. Yesterday she was fine. Go figure!

Carli said...

I freaking LOVE taco bell, but poor baby! Is it okay if I remain friends with taco bell even though you broke up?

Alicia said...

I can't entirely rule out that it WASN'T a bug... but my gut feeling tells me it was the food. And yes, Carli, you can still be friends... ;)

Roxie said...

oh man TACO BELL! I ate there when I was in Kauai and LOVED it..maybe there is something special about that one...or was it because you worked there? didnt you?
hahaha was the last line from the bachelor..HAHAHAHAH

Devinci said...

Dang you taco bell!!! Poor babies. You should totally send that letter to the TACO bell.

Xazmin said...

I'm sooo sorry your baby got sick! Dang that Taco Bell!

Your letter is brilliant!


kanaboke said...

OH Alicia, I can't stop laughing!!!! That was sooo friggen hilarious...but poor Makoa :( Hope he is feeling better soon!!

Julie Isa said...

again, i will say...your hysterical! my heart, however, belongs to Mc Donalds their mc griddles and diet coke had me at 'hello' (would you like to try one of our vanilla lattes???...NO for the last time, i don't drink coffee!!!)